Do you think of yourself as someone who finds it easy to trust others?
Or are you more of the type who believes that unless someone proves otherwise, they can’t be trusted? Because trust involves so many factors, it’s a complex topic. It is hard for some of us to believe because we have been betrayed.
People don’t trust each other because they don’t trust themselves and therefore assume that everyone else behaves the same.
Others, however, freely place great, if not excessive, faith in the good of those whom they trust. No matter where you are on the trust continuum, you have strong interpersonal bonds and ensure that human life depends on trust.
Fortunately, there are several resources available to help you decide whether or not to trust someone.
Ten Signs That Someone Is Unreliable
The cornerstone of any relationship, whether personal or professional, is trust.
But sometimes our gut tells us that someone may not be trustworthy or reliable. These instinctive emotions also referred to as our “gut feelings”, are often supported by specific behavioral indicators. But if you’re a people watcher, you’ll often notice many warning signs that point to a person who might not be someone you should trust. If you follow any of these points, you may want to reconsider the amount of information you share with that person; it may not be as safe as you think. (1, 2)
1. Irregularities
A lack of consistency in words or actions is one of the most obvious indicators that they are untrustworthy. They may reveal partial truths, make broken promises, or change their story frequently. As they say, actions speak louder than words. Statements are likely to be false if they do not hold.
2. Lack of accountability
People who avoid taking responsibility for their actions, constantly offering excuses or shifting blame are often unreliable. Everyone knows someone who, for whatever reason, never takes the blame. A trustworthy individual admits his mistakes and grows from them.
3. Breach of Confidentiality
Unauthorized disclosure of private information is a serious breach of trust. Someone may betray your trust in the future if they show a lack of respect for confidentiality. Note this behavior. Don’t assume that just because they tell you that it indicates that the two of you are special or that they believe in you. Chances are, if they tell you someone else’s secret, they’ll do the same to someone else.
Here’s another way to look at it: Have they ever disclosed any personal information to you? Or are they always just details about other people? This joins another warning sign: rumors.
4. Excessive gossip
People who often gossip or talk about personal problems are likely to cross the line of trust. Their tendency to chatter can be a clear sign that you shouldn’t trust them with your secrets. Again, if they feel comfortable gossiping about others behind their backs or keeping other people’s private information to themselves, they probably won’t hesitate to do the same to you. Whether you are their “best” or “closest” friend is irrelevant.
5. Deceptive Conduct
Manipulators are adept at using other people for their benefit or manipulating events to achieve their own goals. Beware of persistent manipulative techniques such as emotional blackmail, guilt-tripping, and cajoling. These people are likely to stop at nothing to achieve their goals. Cheating and lying are examples of this.
6. Lack of empathy
It is difficult for someone who lacks empathy or has a callous attitude toward other people to build trusting relationships.
Building trust and showing genuine concern for others requires empathy. A complete absence of empathy may also indicate the presence of other personality disorders.
7. History of betrayal
As the saying goes: Once you fool me, you humiliate me.
Shame on me; fool me twice When dealing with someone who consistently betrays the self-esteem of others, it is advisable to proceed with caution. Although people can change, it is important to consider their past behavior to predict their future behavior.
8. Untrustworthy in promises
Over time, trust can be eroded by repeatedly canceling plans or breaking promises. To build trust in a relationship, one must be reliable and consistent. These individuals have proven to be prone to let you down at crucial times.
9. Too closed off
Although privacy is important, overly secretive behavior should be avoided. It begs the question of whether someone is reliable and trustworthy if they constantly hide significant parts of their lives or act in a secretive manner. While not everyone wants to share every detail of their life with others, there is a point where unnecessary separation becomes suspect.
10. Lack of sincerity
Important traits of reliable people are moral integrity, honesty, and integrity. Others who regularly cheat, lie, or act unethically find it hard to win over others. On the contrary, it can also be true for those who consistently share your opinion regardless of the circumstances.
When someone often agrees with you, it can be a red flag that they are trying to convince you that they are on your side. You may not realize it, but they behave the same way toward an individual who disagrees with you. It is false, self-serving, and deceptive.
Four telltale signs of a lie
In addition to the warning signs discussed earlier, there are four distinct behavioral clues that, when combined, can indicate an individual’s untrustworthiness.
These clues, often picked up subconsciously, lead to an instinctive feeling that something is wrong.
Leaning away from your partner: Leaning away during a conversation may indicate discomfort or a desire to put some sort of emotional barrier between you and them. It implies a lack of sensitivity and openness, both of which are necessary to develop trust in a partnership.
Crossing the arms is an automatic response that expresses defensiveness or a desire to give up between yourself and other people. This protective attitude may indicate wariness or a desire to hide something.
Frequent touching of the face, especially during a discussion, can be a sign of nervousness or restlessness. It can mean that someone is not entirely cool or friendly, although this does not always mean that they are untrustworthy.
Frequent touching of the face, especially during a discussion, can be a sign of nervousness or restlessness. It can mean that someone is not entirely cool or friendly, although this does not always mean that they are untrustworthy.
Excessive fidgeting, reaching, or stroking of the hands may be unconscious attempts at self-soothing during stressful situations. It can be a sign of restlessness or anxiety that is related to lying or unreliability.
It is important to note that different people interpret different cues differently, so they are not always reliable indicators of someone’s reliability. However, when we connect, we can think about a person’s sincerity and honesty.
While it is important to recognize these behavioral indicators, relying on them alone can be misleading. To better understand someone’s character, it is advisable to communicate and follow instincts.
The last word
A solid foundation of trust is the foundation of any successful partnership. We can manage relationships more skillfully if we are aware of the warning signs and notice people’s subtle cues. A combination of shared values, consistent behavior, and open communication ultimately creates trust and a solid foundation for successful relationships.
Trust is a fundamental element of any relationship, whether personal or professional. It acts as the glue that holds connections together, promoting cooperation, understanding, and mutual respect. However, trust cannot be taken lightly. They must earn it through consistent behavior, responsibility, and honesty. The warning signs discussed—such as inconsistency, lack of accountability, and a history of betrayal—are critical indicators that can help protect us from being hurt or deceived. Being aware of these signs allows us to make more informed decisions about who to trust and how much.
At the same time, it is important to realize that trust is not a universal concept. People vary in their ability to trust, influenced by their past experiences, personality traits, and emotional needs. While some may approach relationships with an open heart, others may be more cautious and guard their trust until it is earned. Understanding where you fall on this trust continuum can help you navigate relationships more effectively and ensure you build connections based on mutual respect and understanding.
Finally, while it’s important to watch for signs that someone might not be trustworthy, it’s just as important not to let past betrayals or fears stop you from trusting others completely. Trust, when placed wisely, can lead to deep and meaningful relationships that enrich our lives. By balancing caution and openness, we can cultivate strong and reliable bonds that are vital to our well-being and success.