As we go through life, many of us take little time to think about the legacy we leave behind.
But what if we had the ability to write our own last words? What if, knowing that the end is near, we could capture the essence of who we are on our own terms? For Sonia Todd, a woman from Moscow, Idaho, this opportunity came in a very unusual and moving way.
Diagnosed with cancer at the age of 38, Sonia knew her time was limited, but rather than passively wait for others to write her obituary, she took matters into her own hands. The result was not just a simple goodbye, but a message that will resonate with anyone who reads it and inspire others to live fuller and more purposeful lives. Here is her story.
Sonia Todd, a 38-year-old woman from Moscow, Idaho, died of cancer. Faced with her terminal diagnosis, she decided to write her own obituary, a decision stemming from her dissatisfaction with the traditional way of writing obituaries. Sonia felt that the typical format did not capture the true essence of her life, so she decided to create her own and share her unique perspective with those she left behind.
An obituary full of humor, wisdom, and raw honesty followed, published in the Moscow-Pullman Daily News. Sonia’s words were so honest and thought-provoking that they will resonate with readers long after her death and serve as a source of inspiration. Interestingly, Sonia began her obituary with a self-deprecating comment: “I never achieved anything remarkable. Yet as the obituary unfolded, it was clear that she had achieved something profound—a gift of perspective and authenticity.
Sonia began her obituary by stating, “In addition to giving birth to my two wonderful, sweet, funny, and wonderful sons (James and Jason), marrying my kind, understanding, and precious husband (Brian), and accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal savior—I have done very little. None of them require an obit space that I have to pay money for.” She went on to explain why she chose to write an obituary, expressing her distaste for the traditional process where loved ones often feel pressured to write glowing, over-the-top tributes that don’t really reflect the person’s life. Sonia did not want to burden anyone with this responsibility.
In her words, she reflected on the simple truth of her life: “I was just trying to do the best I could. Sometimes I succeeded, mostly I failed, but I tried. For all my crazy comments, jokes, and complaints, I really loved people.” Sonia admitted that she didn’t always make the right decisions, and as she neared the end of her life, she regretted the little things—the simple actions that could have hurt others. Yet she also found value in the lessons she learned through the tough times.
Although Sonia admitted that her life was not perfect, she found meaning in every challenge, especially the struggles she faced in her younger years. Despite these hardships, she believed that every bad situation could offer a lesson. In a light-hearted moment, she even joked about the benefits of dying young, saying: “I still owe on my student loans and the joke is on them because I’m not paying them. Plus, I no longer fear serial killers, telemarketers, or the IRS.”
Sonia’s obituary was not only a reflection of her life but also an opportunity to express gratitude to those who supported and loved her. She saw writing her own obituary as an opportunity to thank the people who helped shape her journey, saying: “I have been extremely blessed to have known you all. It made my life worth living.”
In the last part of her obituary, Sonia left a heartfelt message urging others to make positive changes in their lives. “If you are thinking of me and would like to do something to honor my memory, please do this: Volunteer at a school, church, or library. Write someone a letter and tell them how they have positively impacted your life. If you smoke – stop. If you drink and drive – stop,” she advised.
Her list of simple but impactful actions continued: “Turn off the electronics and take the child out for ice cream and talk to them about their hopes and dreams. Forgive someone who doesn’t deserve it. Stop by all the kid-run soda stands and show off their product. Make someone laugh today if you can.
Sonia’s obituary serves as a reminder of the power of small acts of kindness and the importance of living life with intention. Although she may no longer be with us, her words continue to encourage us to live with gratitude, compassion, and a sense of purpose. We still have time to honor her memory by making these small but meaningful changes in our own lives.
Sonia Todd’s self-written obituary is a poignant reminder of the power of living with intention and gratitude, even in the face of mortality. Filled with humor, honesty, and wisdom, her words encourage us to cherish the small moments and make positive changes in our lives and the lives of others.
By challenging traditional norms and sharing her reflections on life, Sonia has left a legacy that transcends her years. Her final message to live with love, forgiveness, and kindness continues to inspire us to be better, do better,r and honor those who touch our lives. Although her time on earth was short, Sonia Todd’s impact will be felt for years to come. Let’s all take a moment to reflect on her words and make today count.