It’s hard to make friends as an adult. It’s even harder to find true friends who aren’t motivated by anything.
Knowing the difference between a real friend and a fake friend is essential to your happiness and will save you from wasting time, effort, and emotions on unworthy people.
Fortunately, there are plenty of little warning signs to look out for to tell friends from foes more quickly.
Five indexes, your boyfriend is not real
It can be hard to tell if someone is sincere in their friendship or if we are just another of their pretend friends.
New friendships go through a “honeymoon” period where everything seems perfect all the time, just like in romantic relationships.
But eventually, if you know how to spot them, a fake friend who is only in it for themselves will reveal their true identity. It is not too late to identify a fake friend; Here are some habits to be aware of.
1. Non-stop chatter.
If this so-called friend is constantly criticizing other people or telling you things about them that they really shouldn’t be, then guess what happens when you have a conversation or meeting with them? Chances are they also talk negatively about you to other people.
These remarks can be anything from overtly hurtful to subtle praise. You can see that this guy is not to be trusted in any way.
Conversely, if you have a friend who compliments other people all the time (I really like that woman’s haircut; it looks great on her! Did you hear about Jessica’s promotion? Since she’s put in a lot of work and deserves it, there’s a good chance, that I will say the same about you. We should be very close to these people because they are good lights in the world.
2. No matter when you are with them, you feel confident.
Friends are supposed to be a good, encouraging force in our lives. After spending time with them, you should feel lighter, happier, and more capable.
“Having close, encouraging, and supportive people in their lives makes people feel better about themselves,” says Robert Rowney, D.O., director of the Cleveland Clinic’s Mood Disorders Division and a board-certified psychiatrist. “True friends naturally boost your self-esteem, and in return, helping a good friend [can] help you feel better about yourself.” Primarily
You may have a fake friend if you experience the opposite every time you go out with someone.
3. They always focus only on your flaws.
Being able to correct each other when you make mistakes is a sign of a good friendship. That being said, you know how to do it in a way that encourages the other person to improve rather than tearing them down.
“They’re able to point out some of the negative things you’re doing in addition to the positives,” says Rowney. A true friend or someone you can truly trust will be confident enough to confide in you and tell you exactly what’s going on. Open and direct friends are among the most valuable kinds of people to have.” First
When you’re doing something that you know will destroy you, or when you have spinach in your teeth, a fake friend will either sit in silence or do the exact opposite: always pointing out your flaws. He is not a friend who should be extreme.
4. They demand that you be there for them at all times, but they are never there for you.
You know the person we’re talking about: the one who keeps postponing your plans is unreliable when you need someone to talk to, and makes a lot of empty promises.
That same individual then becomes angry or irritated when you fail to respond when they need you.
A true friend is someone who
is attentive to your needs and is present and engaged.
Rather than just having a conversation about themselves, they actually listen to you.
They are aware of things that hurt or worry you, are able to sense when you are experiencing these emotions, and know when to step in to support you when needed.
They support you despite challenging circumstances.
They value your friendship enough to make time for you, even when it’s not a good fit.
5. They hold grudges.
Because we are all human, we all make mistakes from time to time. But a fake friend will always remind you. They will use this as leverage to make you feel terrible and force you to do tasks for them.
These individuals are often just taking advantage of you; once they get what they need, they basically disappear, only to reappear when they need more help.
Sincere friends are forgiving. They are aware that mistakes will happen from time to time. They will forgive you, move on, and never comment on the situation again once you talk about it and offer a sincere apology.
According to Randy Taran, author and producer of Project Happiness, “Real friends have the courage to address conflicts directly rather than gossip and let resentment grow.” “True friends understand, and because they understand, they are able to forgive.” Primarily
The last word
A friend will often offer you little clues that indicate they are not being honest. Be careful around them so you don’t give time, effort, or emotional support to the wrong people. Hold on to these friendships and don’t settle for anything less than right, because you deserve to be loved and cared for by people as much as you are.
Recognizing the signs of a fake friend is essential to maintaining your emotional well-being and conserving your energy for those who truly care about you. Friendships are supposed to be mutual, uplifting, and supportive, and when they aren’t, it’s important to reevaluate their place in your life. By being aware of the subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) indicators—such as constant criticism, self-centeredness, or insincere behavior—you can better protect yourself from investing in relationships that end up being unfulfilling or even harmful.
It’s natural to want to see the best in people, but it’s equally important to be realistic about who deserves your time and affection. True friends enrich your life, providing comfort, encouragement, and a sense of belonging. They are there for you in good times and bad, and their support is consistent, not conditional. In contrast, fake friends can drain you emotionally, leaving you feeling unsupported and underappreciated.
After all, life is too short to spend it with people who don’t have your best interest at heart. By learning to recognize the signs of a fake friend, you can focus on building and nurturing the relationships that really matter and bring positivity and growth into your life. Remember that you deserve friends who respect and appreciate you for who you are, and who are as invested in your well-being as you are in theirs.