Have you ever had one of those days when everything seems to go wrong, but somehow it ends up by allowing your parties to hurt?
Well, if you don’t do that, you’re going. Fill in, because this collection of jokes is the perfect antidote to the harsh day. It’s a kind of humor that takes the mood from “meh” to “lol” in seconds. If you try to suppress laughter in public, you can even start to question your common sense – don’t worry, we were all there.
Imagine this: Walk through the park, focus on your own business when you suddenly find yourself face to face an emotional grandmother who pounces her heart over her seemingly perfect life.
Or, the picture of the Three Brothers who predict each other’s birthday gifts for their mother, just for her, so that everyone is wondering what they missed. And let’s not forget the graduate of Genius Harvard, who finds himself excessive by anyone other than a blonde on flight. Believe me, the punch lines will leave you in the stitch, and just when you think you have heard everything, life throws one more absurd twists. Prepare – it’s not just a laughter; It’s a fully comedy holiday!
Who needs therapy when you have such jokes?
This collection of jokes is like a five -star meal of humor, each of which is full of double help of absurdity and chaos. We have grandmothers that shed tears over the ideal husbands, siblings who bold each other to impress mom, and even a blonde that so badly overcomes the genius that it is still recovering.
These jokes will hit your funny bones harder than feathers on a comedy show. Prepare to laugh uncontrollably – because you are probably watched, the only thing they are interested in is why you are in tears when you mix so much!
1. When I went to the park and found my grandmother crying
Have you ever met someone whose life sounds like a fairy tale just to realize that reality had different plans?
I decided to walk in a park. The usual monuments greeted me – a picnic in the picnic area, the children are running around and the runners are doing their business. But then I saw something special: a fragile, older woman sitting alone on the bench and crying quietly.
I approached carefully. “Sorry, Madam, are you okay? Is there anything I can do?”
She looked up to the water eyes and replied, “Oh, a young man, I have the best life he could apply for.”
I didn’t expect the answer. I was interested, sitting next to her. “That sounds amazing,” I said gently. “What makes you so angry?”
She started her story with a sigh. “I’m married to a 22-year-old man who treats me as a royal rank. Every morning she brings me breakfast to bed-fresh vafle, syrup and latte just as I like. Massage my legs to start.”
I was impressed. “Wow, that sounds incredible.”
But she wasn’t done. “He cooks me gourmet lunches, Serenades with a guitar while I rest in the garden, and spoils me with candlelight dinner. He even writes me poetry!”
“Wow, he plays a guitar for you? Is that like something of a dream! But why are you crying?”
She skewed and tears ran down her face. “Because … I don’t remember where I live!”
I had to bite my lip to stop to laugh, but let’s say it didn’t work. In the end, I choke so hard, maybe I needed the tissue myself!
2 .. Three sons compete for the best birthday gift for your mother
Siblings may be competitive, especially when it comes to amazement of their parents. But this time the last laugh.
Gerard, Howard and Norman were three successful brothers, each trying to overcome the other with the most impressive gift for the 90’s birthday. During dinner they boasted their gifts.
“I built a huge headquarters for my mom,” Gerard said proudly. “It has ten bedrooms, a library and even an inner pool.”
Howard laughed. “This is cute. I got her Tesla with a personal driver who is always on alert. He’ll never have to drive again.”
Norman grinned even wider. “Amateur. I got my mother a parrot who was trained by monks for twelve years. He knows the whole Bible. He must just name the verse and recite it perfectly.”
A week later their mother sent thanks.
“Gerard,” she wrote, “the house is beautiful, but it is too big. I use only one room and I have to clean the whole place!”
“Howard,” she wrote, “the car is beautiful, but I don’t go out and the driver has a worse temperament than your father.”
“Dear Norman,” she wrote, “you are the only one who really understands me. The baked chicken was excellent. But it was a little small.”
Norman quickly realized that his “biblical” bird ended like a dinner instead of offering divine wisdom!
3 .. Request for pressure 3:00 that went to the party
Asking for help is one thing, but knocking on someone’s door at night? This is bold.
Once the night, my husband and I were upside down by a frantic click on the door. He growled, pulled out of bed to see who he was.
He opened the door and found a soaking man on our porch. “Sorry,” the man said, “Can you give me pressure?”
My husband frowned. “Do you really mean it? It’s 3:00 am! And here it freezes!”
He killed the door and stomped back to bed.
“Who was it?” I asked sleepily.
“A guy who asked for pressure,” he replied, clearly angry.
“Did you help him?”
“Help him? In any case! It’s a black pitch and pouring rain!”
I looked at him that could melt the ice. “Do you remember when our car collapsed last winter and these species foreigners helped us out? Isn’t that up to us?”
He dressed and went out when I watched the window.
“Hey where are you?” Called.
“Here,” came the voice.
“Where exactly?”
“On the set of swings!”
Looking at his face, when he returned in, soaked, he was priceless.
4 .. Recently a single woman who bought a flashy new Corvette
When life gives you lemons, some people go out and buy Corvette.
The newly divided woman decided that it was time to treat. She bought a shiny red corvette and hit the highway and accepted her newly found freedom.
She approached the road and hit 90 mph, then 100. Her Joyride was shortened when her rear -view mirror appeared flashing lights.
“Maybe I can overtake him,” she thought, but then common sense came across and she pulled out.
The officer approached and looked worn out. “Ma’am, I had a long day. If you can give me an apology for exceeding the speed I have never heard before, I’ll let you go.”
Without missing the rhythm, she replied, “Last week my husband escaped with the cop. I thought you would bring him back!”
The officer tried to keep his face straight, but soon laughed. “Okay, Madam, Have a nice day.”
5. “Creative” way to treat a hotel account
Some people can handle hard situations with logic. Others go fully genius.
After a long ride, the couple decided to stop at the fantastic hotel. When they checked in, they got a $ 350 account.
“That must be a mistake,” the husband said. “We barely stayed here!”
“No mistake,” the receptionist cheerfully said. “The fee includes access to our Olympic pool, spa and conference center.”
“But we didn’t use any of this!” The husband protested.
“Well, they were available to you,” the receptionist grinned.
My husband scribbled a check of $ 50 and handed it to him.
“That’s just $ 50,” the receptionist said.
“That’s true,” my husband said with a shrug. “I charge you $ 300 for sleeping with my wife.”
“But I’m not!” Receptionist stutter.
“Well,” my husband said, “she was available!”
6. Harvard graduate vs. blonde
Never underestimate anyone, especially in a long flight.
Harvard graduate noticed a blond woman sitting next to him and decided to have fun. “Let’s play the game,” he suggested. “I’ll ask you a question. If you don’t know the answer, you owe me $ 5. Then you ask me, and if I don’t know, I owe you $ 500.”
She agreed.
“What is the exact distance between Earth and Mars?” He asked smug.
The blonde gave him $ 5 without a word.
The turn. “What goes on a hill with three legs and descends with four?”
He thought, searched the internet and asked around, but came empty. Frustrated, handed her $ 500.
“So, what is the answer?” he asked.
She smiled, handed him $ 5 and said, “I have no idea.”
And here you have it – extraordinary that the greatest laughter of life often comes from the most unexpected places. Who knew the parrot, the account for the hotel and the swing set could leave us in the stitch? If you grin from ear to ear, welcome to the club “mixture as long as it hurts”.
Remember that a day without laughter is like a day without wi-fi-neaneable. Now go share these jokes and be the hero of your next group chat!
Conclusion
And here you have it – a wonderful winner of laughter and absurdity, which proves that the funniest moments of life often come when we least expect them. From grandmothers with unforgettable stories to smart pranks and unexpected twists, these jokes have delivered everything you need to brighten your day. Whether you share them with friends, family, or just enjoy solo laughter, remember that laughter is really the best medicine (without cooperation!). So go ahead, spread joy and laugh – because life without humor is simply incomplete.