PART 1

My husband, Caleb, and I had dreamed of becoming parents for a long time.

And after five years of treatment, it finally happened.

Later, during an ultrasound, we found out we were expecting triplets.

Caleb and I felt like the happiest people in the world.

Two of the boys were born healthy, but the third, Julian, had to stay in the NICU much longer.

I was extremely worried about him, but eventually, it seemed like Julian was out of danger, and we were finally able to bring him home.

I was unbelievably happy to be the mother of three sons.

But not for long.

A few months later, Julian got sick.

We called an ambulance and rushed him to the hospital.

Then the doctor came out and told us that our baby hadn’t survived.

I felt like the ground had disappeared beneath my feet.

My mom stayed with us at the hospital and helped me with everything.

She took care of the twins and helped me arrange the funeral.

Because I barely had the strength to do anything at all.

I was just trying to keep going.

And now 18 years have passed.