Or I used to be.”

He rubbed his neck again.

“Just think about it.

Please.

There’s no hurry.”

But there was a hurry in the way he said it, a rush running under the calm, like a man patting his pockets for keys he already knew weren’t there.

I left him by the bench and drove to the café near the park for an iced tea, four dollars in a plastic cup, because I wasn’t ready to go home and sit alone with that number.

David was standing at the counter, his lanyard still hanging from his neck, checking his watch.