At the time, it was a harmless joke.

Looking at the note, I wished he had understood that remembering enough for both of us did not mean I should be given every difficult thing after he was gone.

Then I looked at the papers again and saw that he had tried, however imperfectly, to leave choices rather than demands.

I did not settle my feelings about that in one afternoon.

I paid the bill I could address, made the call I needed to make, and left another question for the adviser.