That was the contradiction I needed to sit with.

I loved him.

I was relieved he had not betrayed our marriage in the way I feared.

I was angry that he had left me to find the truth while I could no longer ask him questions.

Understanding his motive did not require forgiveness on the same evening.

Nora let me say that without correcting me.

Then we talked about the financial files.

“Did he use what we needed for the house?”