It’s that the satisfaction I actually wanted turned out to be something quieter and further from him than revenge.

I wanted mornings I wasn’t braced against.

I wanted a table where no one was performing.

I wanted to watch Willa fill out a college portal with her whole ordinary hopeful face and know that nothing in this house was going to reach across and spoil it.

His ruin is just weather happening somewhere I no longer live.

I don’t warm my hands at it.

I have better fires now.\n\nAnd Hattie — I should tell you about Hattie.