All the times over the past three years that he had pulled back from my hugs, had stiffened, had been too grown-up, too busy being strong, I understood now, were not him growing away from me.

They were him bracing himself for the burden he had taken on, keeping his guard up because he believed he could not afford to let it down.

And now the guard was down, at last, and my little boy was in my arms, and I would not have traded that terrible, wonderful moment for anything in the world.

“Oh, baby,” I said into his hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me?