I did not mistake it for repair.

Shame asks to be comforted; responsibility asks what must be done.

“I won’t make a decision about our marriage today,” I told him.

“But I need you to move your things out of the house while we work through this.

And I need you to stop contacting me through work.”

He nodded, then began to cry.

I stayed in my chair.

It was the first time in ten years I had let him experience a feeling without immediately taking responsibility for fixing it.