At My Daughter’s Wedding, My Husband Gave His Mistress My Seat and Told Me to Sit in the Back—Then the Groom’s Father Walked Past Him and Said, “Laura, I’ve Finally Found You”

“You haven’t opened it.”

“If it contains thirty-eight dollars with thirty years of interest—”

He laughed.

“It contains exactly thirty-eight dollars.”

I stared.

Then opened it.

Two twenties.

One two-dollar bill.