I had to stop it partway through the first time.

I sat in that dark house and I shook, not with grief now but with something harder and more useful, and when I could breathe again I played it to the end, because I owed my grandfather that — to look at the whole of what had been done to him, to not flinch from the worst of it the way everyone else in the family had flinched from all of it for years.

When Steadman said definitely criminal, some part of me that had been holding its breath since the will reading finally let it out.

Because up to that moment I had wondered, in the smallest hours, whether I might be overreacting, whether grief was making me vengeful, whether a kinder person would let it go.

The video ended that wondering.

A kinder person, watching those hands, would do exactly what I was about to do.