No court had found wrongdoing, and none of the documents changed.

The administration would proceed under ordinary review.

I wanted relief to feel simple.

It didn’t.

At the hospital I sat with the supervisor who had overseen the case and admitted how frightened I was of returning to work.

“Then don’t come back until you’re ready to be a physician again,” he told me.

“You can’t practice medicine as penance.”

For the first time, I understood that rebuilding my future might require more than following a note.