“I don’t want to fight,” she said.

“Neither do I.

But I want to tell you what hurt me, and I need you not to dismiss it.”

She tightened her hands around the mug.

I explained how it felt to hear her call abandonment empowering, and how quickly she had shifted from my disappointment to concern about the family’s reputation.

I told her that on the day of the wedding, I’d been frightened that the happiest event of my life would become a demonstration of my ability to tolerate neglect gracefully.

“I thought I was helping you be strong,” she said.