She said: “She wants you to do a semen analysis.

She says she can’t go any further until you do.

She said” — and Carmen looked at her notes, because she had written it down — “she said it’s half the equation and it’s the cheapest test in the building.”

And I said no.

I want to be honest about how I said it, because I have heard myself describe this before in a way that softens it.

I did not say let me think about it. I did not say I’m nervous.

I laughed.

I was thirty-four years old.

I worked fourteen-hour days.

I could load a flatbed and strap it in nine minutes and I had not been sick in four years and I said something like, “Carmen, come on.