I want to say this plainly because I have spent seven years learning how to: I had that explanation in my hand within forty minutes and I chose not to read it, and everything else in this story is downstream of that choice.

She called eleven times over the following two days.

I did not pick up.

And on the fourth day I did the thing that I still cannot fully account for, and that I have discussed at length with a professional, and that I understand mechanically and still cannot forgive.

I went to the admin office and changed my personal contact details on record.

Phone.