It is not going to happen, and the reason is not that she cannot forgive me.

She has forgiven me — actually, functionally, in a way I can see in how she is with me — and forgiveness turns out not to be the operative thing.

She said it best, about a year ago, in a car park, at the end of a conversation about school districts.

“Ivan, I’m not carrying anything about you anymore.

I want you to believe that, because I know you don’t.

“But I built a whole life on the fact that you weren’t coming.