I want to write down what happened in the forty minutes after I read it, because it is the only part of that night I got right.

Jessi came back in and I was still sitting there, and she looked at my face and said, “Yeah.”

And I said, “I want to say four things and then I’m going to go.”

“All right.”

“One.

I’m not going to give you an explanation tonight.

There is one and it’s about my mother and it’s disgusting and you’re owed it, and if I start on it now it becomes about me and it turns into me asking you to feel sorry for me.

So I’ll write it down and give it to you and you can read it when you want to.”