I asked her about the Sunday Jessi came to the door.

And here she stopped, and she said, “That’s not — she turned up, Ivan, unannounced, on a Sunday, at my house—”

“Was she pregnant?”

Silence.

“Mom.

Was she standing on your porch pregnant with my son?”

And my mother said, “I don’t remember what she looked like.”

That is a lie and both of us knew it was a lie and it is the moment I stopped, in some final way, being her son in the way I had been for thirty-eight years.