Don’t Let Your Mother Answer for You
Not often.
About twice a year, in the car, out of nowhere, in the way he asks about anything.
And every time, I had to decide what to say, and I always said something true but incomplete, and I could feel myself building him a father out of nothing.
“And I thought, one day he’s going to be nineteen and he’s going to find you in about four minutes on a phone, and he’s going to meet whatever you are without me in the room, with no preparation, at an age where he’ll pretend it doesn’t matter.
“So when you turned up, what I actually thought — after about a day and a half of wanting to put you through the window — was: this is the version where I get to be there.”