Then I did three things, in order, and I did them without any heat at all, because heat was precisely the mistake they were counting on.

First, I switched the chairs — moved Hazel’s glued chair to Amber’s place at the head table, and Amber’s clean chair to my wife’s.

Second, I took out my phone and I photographed the chair, and the glue bottle they had left in a planter, and the security camera mounted above the service entrance that had watched them do all of it.

And third, I found the venue manager — who worked, though she did not know it, for me — and told her to preserve every second of that night’s recordings.