“Thea, you did not have one bereavement.

You had one, and then you had it demolished, and then you had a second one that included the demolition.

That is why the second year was worse than the first and it is not a failure of yours.”

The second year was worse than the first.

I want that written down plainly, because everybody assumes the first year is the bottom, and for me it was not, and I have since met two other people for whom it was not, for entirely different reasons.

And there is a specific cruelty inside it that I did not anticipate at all.