Here is what Ottilie Brandt said to me on our fourth call, in the August, when I finally said it out loud to her instead of to a therapist, and she is not a therapist and she answered it as a nurse, which is why it worked.

She said: “I’m going to tell you something about that unit that you need and nobody’s given you.

“Your son was never alone.

Not for one minute of fifty-one hours.

That is not a comfort I’m inventing — go and look at the flowsheets.

There’s an entry every fifteen minutes.

There is somebody’s initials on every single line.

“Look at the third of March at four in the morning.