That is how it arrived.

I sat on a bed and thought: he gave him Linus so I would be left with August, and August is his grandfather, and he took the one that was mine.

I held that for about four months and it was poison and it was, I am fairly sure, wrong.

I asked him, eventually, in the October, in the conversation I am coming to.

It was not the first thing I asked and it was not the fifth and it came out somewhere near the end when we were both wrecked.