“And I couldn’t.”

I asked him what happened in that second.

And he said: “You were going to ask me to take you up there.

Immediately.

Within about four seconds.

And you’d had seven units of blood and you were thirty-one hours off a ventilator and there was a thing in your neck, and I thought — she’s going to get out of that bed and she’s going to make them let her, and she might die doing it.”

I have thought about that a great deal and I do not entirely believe it and I do not entirely disbelieve it.