She got my daughter settled, and she put the pillow where it needed to be, and then she said, “I’m just going to be outside at the desk,” and she went, and she pulled the door most of the way shut behind her.

She understood that what I needed in that minute was not help.

It was to be left alone with my own child for ninety seconds in a room with the door nearly closed, so that the first proper look I got at her was not something that happened in front of staff.

I have thought about that woman’s judgement ever since.

Part Thirty-Eight: I Called My Mother