And the fourth — I am the grandmother, after all — was a claim of entitlement filed in advance, on the morning of the operation, before a single thing had happened.

“Is she annoyed?” I asked.

“That’s just her being her,” Kevin said, and put his hand round the back of his own neck and rubbed it, which is what he does.

And here is where I have to be truthful about my own part in this, because the story that got told around our family afterwards had me as a woman who was ambushed, and I was not ambushed.

I knew that voice.