I do not blame myself for asking for the promise.

I am not sorry I asked.

If I had the morning again I would ask for it again, in the same words, with the same grip on his hand.

What I have had to sit with is something narrower and more uncomfortable, which is that I knew, as I said it, that I was asking for something he could not guarantee.

You cannot promise to be in a particular room at an unspecified time in a hospital.