You’re safe here.”

I could not take my eyes off the double doors of the operating room.

And in the long hours of waiting, I made myself look, finally, at the thing I had spent years refusing to see.

For years I had defended Richard, to my friends, to my mother, to myself.

When he yelled, I told myself he was stressed from work.

When he went through my phone, I told myself he was only protective, because he loved me so much.