I was a soldier who had survived the fire.

I was a husband who had honored his vows.

And I was a father whose journey was a long way from over.

I had been afraid of this moment for two years.

That was the truth I had not said out loud to anyone, not even to myself, in so many words.

I had told people I was saving for the trip, that it was hard to get the time off, that Nia was too young — and all of that was true, and none of it was the real reason.