They couldn’t pay much.

I accepted anyway because solving a problem with people who looked me in the eye felt like medicine.

There were difficult appointments.

One week the doctor wanted a repeat scan because of a measurement she wished to verify.

Another week I spent hours in a waiting room trying not to read other women’s faces.

Nothing serious emerged, but pregnancy had taught me how quickly joy could become fear.

Miriam kept encouraging me to consider formal parentage arrangements.