But the process forced us to act like equal partners rather than wealthy benefactor and grateful recipient.

Meredith proposed using part of our planned charitable giving to establish a technical training scholarship for people in communities affected by manufacturing layoffs.

I supported it, but she insisted that local educators and employees lead its design.

“This shouldn’t be a monument to us,” she said.

“It should help people do something practical.”

The papers stayed unsigned.

Eventually we placed them in a sealed envelope marked: A decision we chose not to make without talking.

One evening I took out the restored fountain pen and used it to write Meredith a note.