He had been hiding it from me, his wife, for years, because he had never once thought of me as his partner.

He had thought of me as a resource.

That word landed on me and would not leave: resource. Because once I saw it, I saw it everywhere, running backward through the whole seven years like a watermark that had been on every page the entire time.

It explained the warmth that appeared whenever a bill needed paying and vanished whenever I needed anything myself.

It explained why my exhaustion never registered with him but my paycheck always did.