I had known, you see.

I had known for months.

That is a thing I will come back to, because it is the part people find hardest to understand.

They ask me, always, some version of the same question: if you knew — if you knew about the intern, and the child, and the money moving out to the coast — how could you carry that pregnancy to term beside him and say nothing?

How could you sip your coffee across the breakfast table from a man you had already decided to dismantle?