Because the question that haunts you, after something like this, is not how could he — his kind have always existed and always will.

The question is how did I not see it, and it can rot a person from the inside if you let it.

I let it, for a while.

I combed back through three years looking for the moment I should have known, the tell I’d missed, the warning I’d talked myself out of.

And what I came to, eventually, was a kind of peace with the answer: that I had not seen it because I am not built the way he is built, and being unable to imagine that the person warming your milk wants you dead is not a character flaw.

It is the very thing that makes a person worth loving.