She has never once in seven years heard an adult in her house speak with contempt to another.

She doesn’t know what that sounds like.

I made sure of it.

That was the thing I built on purpose, more deliberately than anything else, because it was the thing I had most lacked.

I grew up believing, and then married into the confirmation of the belief, that love and contempt could share a house — that a person could say they loved you and speak to you like something scraped off their shoe, and that you were meant to hold both of those and call the combination a marriage.

It took me a long time and a great deal of damage to understand that this is a lie, and that the lie is how a great many people spend their whole lives.