A nurse asked if I wanted the baby in the nursery so I could sleep.

I said no.

Sleep was not the thing I was missing.

I was missing the version of the day I had packed a bag for: Julian in the chair, Chloe crying happy, me handing over a niece and going home to Leo as the heroic aunt.

That version had died in the same room the baby had entered.

David sat on the visitor chair until his roses looked foolish.