Even the person who had helped me most was willing to recognize that protecting someone included respecting their choices.

Noah stirred.

I kissed the top of his head.

‘I don’t want to teach him that strength means never needing anyone,’ I said.

Richard nodded.

‘Then show him what it looks like to ask.’

That night I drove home with Noah asleep in his car seat and the remains of the cake packed in a box.

I put him to bed, washed the plates, and sat beside my kitchen table with a notebook.