It is being the one who does not leave when the house shakes — when the marriage is hard, when the pregnancy is frightening, when the baby is four pounds and fighting for breath, when staying is inconvenient and offers no return and will never appear on any magazine cover.

I had spent my life mastering the easy part and neglecting the only part that counted.

And so I have set myself, in my forties, to finally learn the carpenter’s real trade, the one he tried to pass to me through the girl he raised: not how to build, which I already knew, but how to stay, which I did not.

Chapter 20 — Learning How to Stay