The two days between felt longer than they were.

I worked, counted the food in the refrigerator, and checked the phone too often.

The envelope stayed in my handbag.

I took it out at night, looked at the seal, and put it back.

I could have opened it.

Nobody was forbidding me.

Knowing that mattered.

I had spent the first morning imagining a set of instructions that would tell me how to behave.