Selina had arrived with her entire family arrayed behind her like a wall, and a full team from one of the most expensive family law firms in the city.

I have thought about that image a great deal since — my son, alone, exhausted, unrepresented in any real sense, on one side; and on the other, a coordinated, well-funded, well-rehearsed operation.

Because whatever else is true about a courtroom, it is not a neutral space where truth simply rises to the top on its own merits.

It is an arena, and arenas are won by preparation and resources and the confidence to press an advantage, and on that day my son had none of those things and his ex-wife had all of them.

The judge, faced with grave allegations of danger to children, and a chorus of sworn witnesses on one side and a single stammering exhausted man on the other, did the thing judges are trained to do in the face of uncertainty: erred on the side of caution.

Protected the children, as the court understood the children to need protecting.