It was such an older-sister question that I laughed.

‘I saw pictures of them,’ she said.

‘You know you don’t have to fix what happened to us by yourself.’

‘I know.

I’m trying not to.’

She offered to visit, but we agreed it would be better to plan and let the children know before adding another unfamiliar adult to the house.

She also gave me the name of a records specialist who had helped someone she knew locate a family member through permitted channels.

I wrote the name in my notebook.