I did not ask the boys to comfort me because I was ashamed.

I simply told them that family members sometimes hurt one another, and that sharing a name didn’t mean anyone could demand a relationship.

That night Lauren and I called Dr.

Sutter, who had helped us navigate the beginning.

She advised us to answer questions truthfully, in terms the boys could understand, and to make sure they knew the adults were responsible for what had happened.

The boys’ task was not to decide whether I had been wronged or whether Constance deserved forgiveness.