The trait was constant.

What changed was the person evaluating it, and with them, the entire meaning of the trait flipped from defect to virtue.

That taught me to be very, very careful about whose criticism I let inside.

Because a person who does not truly wish you well will find your finest qualities and hold them up to you as flaws, precisely because your finest qualities are the ones least under their control — and if they can convince you that your strength is a weakness, they can convince you to put it down, and make yourself smaller, and easier to keep.

Andrew was not trying to correct a flaw in me.