It was not devotion.

It was an inability to accept the consequence of my own decision.

Inside a drawer lay a program from the first concert we attended together.

She had written across its cover: You looked frightened of the violin section, but you stayed.

I sat on the floor with the program in my hands.

When my attorney arrived that evening, he found me there.

Her name was Celeste Ward, a federal defense lawyer known for telling clients what they least wanted to hear.