“I know.

I just want him to understand.”

I thought about the years I had spent wanting the same thing.

“Sometimes understanding takes longer than we can wait,” I told her.

“And sometimes people understand perfectly and still don’t want to change.”

A few weeks later Gordon asked Paige what a respectful relationship with her would look like.

She answered in writing: no insults about either parent, no requests for money, no attempts to use her as a messenger, and no guilt if she was unavailable.

To her surprise, he agreed.