“We need to distinguish what you can choose to give from what you might be legally obligated to pay,” she said.

“And we need a plan for your own retirement expenses.”

When I looked through the files, I found agreements I barely remembered signing.

One was a formal promissory note for a substantial amount advanced to Daniel’s consulting business.

Another was only an email stating I would help with school fees for a year.

I had continued that transfer long after the year ended.

I also found a mortgage statement in Daniel’s name, confirming that my monthly contributions were voluntary transfers toward his loan rather than a legal commitment of mine.