Claire snapped that I didn’t understand the standards she expected for her children.

I thought of the time Oliver had proudly shown me a drawing from his art class; he had been happier about the glitter on the paper than about the price of his education.

Before hanging up, I asked whether the children had received their cards.

Claire hesitated.

“They did,” she said.

“Emma asked why you didn’t come for Christmas.” My throat closed.

“What did you tell her?” Claire responded, “We said you’d decided not to visit.” For a moment anger made my ears ring.