And that difference, invisible from outside, determines everything about who you become.

Because a person pursuing revenge will always, eventually, overreach — will take more than the wrong warranted, because their hunger is the only limit, and hunger has no natural stopping point.

But a person pursuing justice has a built-in stopping place: what the evidence justifies, and not one dollar or one day more.

That is why, at the divorce, I asked only for what the documents supported, though I could have pressed for more and no one would have blamed me.

It was not restraint for its own sake.